Tuesday, 11 December 2012

HO HO HO


The piece below I wrote sometime ago for the Independent on Sunday Magazine and I thought now was the moment to resurrect the story.


"It is curious that Father Christmas has never made it on to any of the best dressed men’s lists that I know of. A man who for generations has dressed up in his best on Christmas Eve and given so generously has been totally ignored by the fashion press. I appreciate that his outfit is somewhat garish and eccentric but it is individual and for that reason alone he should be admired. He is obviously a man who knows what he likes and sticks with it. But Father Christmas has not always been wed to red, before the 1930s he wore green to symbolise the coming of spring. 

When he was approached by the marketing executives of Coca cola they convinced him that red would be much more fun and that it would raise his profile enormously: he would only have to wear it for the month of December and he would be expected to put in a number of select appearances, naturally all his travel expenses would be settled with one proviso; if he failed to appear on Christmas Eve then his contract would become null and void. At the time his astute agent readily agreed with the caveat that Father Christmas would do no television shows or motivational talks for corporate businesses on the basis that Father Christmas’s private life was his own affair and besides it would detract from the whole aura and mystery.

What appears to be the longest celebrity endorsement on record now seems ready for a make over. It is rumoured that his new agent is exploring a whole host of sponsorship deals, Guinness was mentioned but Father Christmas was adamant that he would not wear black. U.P S. tried to muscle in with a licensing deal dreamt up by the advertising whiz kids from A.B.C. Inc, whereupon Father Christmas exploded and exclaimed had he not in all his years delivered the children’s presents promptly and in any case he was adverse to brown. And when manager agent suggested that he should consider loosing some weight, after all you aren’t getting any younger and perhaps trim that beard a little, well you can imagine Father Christmas was beside himself and although he could see the benefits attached to a deal with B.A., it would after all make delivering parcels so much easier he declined graciously as he was far to attached to his reindeers. 

When the proposal to update his wardrobe was put forward he was a little hesitant but the new stream lined ski-wear he had to admit was not only practical and warm and red and as the pretty marketing lady had pointed out it made him look so modern and chic. Finally when he saw the monogrammed parcel sacks with interlocking reindeers he was totally won over. He would as the marketing blurb had suggested truly be a Father Christmas for the 21st century."

Merry Christmas from Jeremy Hackett

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